Travel Adventure Tips

I missed the posting deadline again for our SpinClass Writers Group this week 
(http://spinclass.wordpress.com) - so as I had this burning a hole in my brain, I had to put it here instead...(recovered and updated from my old Geo-cities website which now lives in the Geo-cities Archive project http://www.geocities.ws/sandidv/)

This post could also be titled "Ways to make or break a relationship."

While I am not a jet setting world traveler, I have taken two outstanding cross-country trips – one with my boyfriend, who later became my husband perhaps because of our trip, and one with a college girlfriend who I have “unintentionally” lost touch with.

If you'd like to test the strength of your relationship with your significant other, before you commit to something longer term, I suggest taking a cross-country trip – and by “take”  - I mean DRIVE. Our trip was round trip, New York City to Seattle Washington.  But if you attempt to do this with your love interest, in order to thoroughly test your relationship it’s worthwhile to note that the destination is not as important as how you get there...  (and please note much of this should be read with an undertone of sarcasm)

So here are a few tips to remember:

• Try to over pack - and then also cram all possible belongings you think you could possibly find yourself needing in an emergency into the back of a 90's Acura Integra hatchback. 
• And for extra safety, be sure to properly position the huge load you crammed into the back of the car so that you are unable to see out the rear window.
• If you don't own a tent, don’t buy one… borrow one.  But be sure it is no bigger than a two-man pup tent (this is especially important if your significant other is over 6 foot tall)
• Empty out your bank accounts but be sure the money you both bring only totals just enough to get you one way across the country.  
• As you drive cross country at night, make sure your significant other is so awed by the incredible starry Montana night sky that he has no choice but to stop his now invisible black car in the middle of the unlit highway and turn off his headlights to get a better view of the stars – this will help you to feel like you are about to pee your pants in fear of a speeding truck or other vehicle coming along and being unable to see you or stop…
• Feel flattered after your trip when your boyfriend tells you “if you can travel cross country with someone and not want to kill them along the way – maybe they are a keeper…”

But be assured that Cross country (driving) trips are also recommended for testing the strength of your friendships.

• And again, be sure to first empty out your bank accounts and to take only enough money to get you one way…
• Encourage your friend to bring her hundred pound dog, which you are probably allergic to.

• Be sure that the dog is having an allergic reaction to flea bites and is losing her hair in patches which gently float on the breeze in the car when you have the windows open
• Be sure to have no air conditioning in your early 80's Subaru wagon (so you almost always have the windows open… see previous item)
• Be sure to travel through New Mexico and Arizona during July when you can catch those record high temps (it really is a dry heat… and see the two prior items)
• Be sure to visit Chaco Canyon and don’t let your friend warn you ahead of time about the scorpions and rattlesnakes that may settle outside your tent at night.  (best to not pee before you go to bed to assure you will only see them with your flashlight just before you potentially step on them on your way to the bathroom…)
• be sure to also make a side trip to rescue an additional hundred pound dog from a white supremist-racist in Kentucky who lives on a former slave era tobacco plantation and who named the black furred dog “watermelon”
• be sure to enjoy peacefully sleeping over on the plantation once you realize its too late at night to drive on unlit and unpaved Kentucky back roads though the tobacco fields and then try to escape as quietly as possible the next morning without having to see "the man" again
• be sure when you put the second hundred pound dog  in the back of the car that it will fight constantly with the first one
• be sure that the second dog ,who has never traveled before, is also so traumatized by the trip that he constantly tries to climb into the front seats and sit in your lap while you are driving
• If your friend then takes you and the dogs to her cabin in the remote mountains of Idaho, check ahead of time to be sure that there is no running water - and especially that the outhouse is far enough away from the cabin that you are sure to get lost in the dark coming back from it.
• Also be sure that the outhouse seat is cracked and painfully pinches your butt no matter how you try to sit on it
• Additionally be sure that the particular breed of dogs that you are traveling with is a herding breed – so when you frolic ahead of them in an Idaho field, enjoying the sun and breeze – they feel the need to run behind you and nip your ass to keep you in line!

but most of all - bring an open mind and find the fun and humor in it all - on a road trip and in life - there's always an adventure to be found!

“Sometimes it's a little better to travel than to arrive”
― Robert M. Pirsig, Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance: An Inquiry Into Values

Witness

I ask myself, “who am I to write about the horrific and historical events that happened 10 years ago on Sept 11, 2001?” I didn’t personally lose a family member or friend.  And although we have family living in New York City and some within a few blocks of the area where the twin towers once stood – they were all physically unharmed.

So I ask myself again, “who am I to write about Sept 11^th?”  What right do I have to write about a time, and an event that caused so much deep and personal pain to so many?  But didn’t affect me to that level?

Who am I to write about Sept 11^th? I wasn’t there - but we live a mere 50 miles away from where the World Trade Center once stood.   Why do I feel I can write about Sept 11^th? Because, not only was this a horrific historic event, it was for us in this part of commuterville CT, a local event.

So who am I to write about Sept 11^th? I am a witness.  I am a witness to a moment in time that will be remembered by all the witnesses for ages to come.

On my drive to work, I heard the breaking news report by our local/NYC radio station about a plane that had crashed into the North tower moments before.  Then just after 9am as my stunned coworkers and I gathered and watched the live local news report about the “accident” on TV, our coffee cups in hand, we witnessed both in amazement and horror as the second plane crashed into the South tower…  I am a witness to their shock and pain, many of them were reverse commuters who lived in NYC and rode the train daily to our office in Westport CT.

I was a tearful witness to stress of the wives and husbands and family members not being able to contact their loved ones in NYC to check if they were ok, as the cell phone towers were knocked out. 

I was a witness to our commuter train stations being eerily empty of returning riders during the usual evening rush, and to the horror on the faces of some of the ones who made it back. 

And I am a witness to the pain on the faces of the people who waited there at the stations for hours – hoping the next train that arrived would be carrying their heart back to them.  I am a witness to the many flyers posted there for days-weeks-months after that followed, “have you seen… missing… 9/11…”

And I am a volunteer mourner.  I don’t know the deceased other than when their thousands of names are read aloud every year for the last 10 years, but I mourn for them on behalf of their families.  And I mourn for the thousands of families who’s loved one was never even identified.

I pray for the victims and for God to lighten the burdens of those they left behind.  I will mourn for the loss every year when lists are read again.  And I will always try to stop what I’m doing, to listen and pray and probably choke back tears or cry for a bit as I admit that I cannot even imagine what this must be like for them.

And I am a mourner every time another local news story tells us how yet another “survivor” or Firefighter or NYPD officer or rescuer has died of health issues related to dust inhalation.   

I am a witness to terror – to humanities ability to hate on each other with such violence and disregard for life – if its culture is different than yours…

And I am a witness to heroism – to humanities ability to help, to throw themselves into danger – at the true risk of their own life – to save a fellow human…

And I am a witness to the NYC skyline landscape which we took for granted - being forever changed.  Driving into the city shortly after 9/11 to check on Ma, we were surprised at the skyline, the plumes of dust and smoke that lingered and hung over the city for days on end.  And then, once the air was cleared, seemingly a million years later, the gaping hole left in the skyline.

My 8 year old – and all the children born after 2001 may never really get it... This is “ancient” history to them, perhaps much in the same way as segregation, Dr King’s assassination, vinyl records and 8 track tapes are in the past to them. So I am an intentional witness to them – I tell them why we all should stand still and say a prayer or give thanks for our lives even for a moment on this day.  It happened in other places too – not just in NYC – and it could have happened anywhere to any of us.  So, even 10 years later, even if it happened before you were born, we should remember.   

I’m a witness and a mourner - and every year for the last 10 years I dig up and remember what I wish had never happened, what I wish I had never seen or heard or shared through the faces and hearts of the people around me – and every year I cry and choke up and then on Sept 12^th I hide my pain back down deep inside because ... who am I to feel like this? by what right do i have these feelings of pain? I was not a "victim"... I am only a witness.

“Fulfill a Wish Fund” for Shirley

Dear Family & Friends,

Many of you know I was looking forward to a big birthday party next year to celebrate my 50^th.  I have decided instead to start a “Fulfill a Wish Fund” to help my sister Shirley make a dream of hers a reality, to see the Grand Canyon.   Shirley has been battling Non-Hodgkin’s lymphoma for many years and between bouts of chemo and antidepressants – she fantasizes about being well enough to see the Grand Canyon someday.  So if you were planning on helping me to celebrate my milestone birthday next year, I would ask you instead to consider helping me to take Shirley to the Grand Canyon. How we get her there and where and how long we stay and etc depends on how much I can put away in the “Fulfill a Wish Fund”  beyond the monies I had began to set aside for my party. 

You all know me, and hopefully you know me well enough to know I do not often ask for help with anything and I would never ask for money… but I think this is something that I can only do right with assistance. 

In the coming weeks I plan to research estimated costs for travel and ect and I will set an approximate target goal of how much I think we will need.  I then will be creating a fundraising site for information and submission of donations – please let me know if you would be willing to make a contribution either of resources or monetary donations when I am ready.  I thank each and every one of you so much in advance for your consideration of this request.  

Much Love,

Sandi

its all about location

The flames have to be shooting out of the top of my head by now, she thinks, and then she shivers with anticipation as she steps outside, barefoot and naked into the snowstorm. She plops down ass first into a small snowbank. A snowy pillow cradles her head as she lies back with a sigh and hears the hiss of the flames being squelched. “This is a great spot to make snow angels!” she murmurs dreamily as she starts to wave her arms and legs. She begins to feel the icy bite of the snow on her skin… but she cant stop the smile threatening to split her parched chapped lips. “This is bliss” she thinks…

She startles as she feels a hand on her shoulder, “wake up Missus you’re having a nightmare…” someone gently shakes her and she slowly begins to realize she is not really making snow angels … she tries to open her heavy eyelids and as she does she finds she is indoors, in a hospital bed. “Missus you’re having a fever dream” says the voice. “Let’s sit you up a bit and have a sip of icewater.” As gentle hands that seem to go with the voice help her sit up, she shivers again. The voice, whose face is still outside her fuzzy field of vision, says “awww look at you, your nightgown is soaked! You must be freezing.” She laughs thinking of her recent snow angels and how she had been frolicking in the snow just moments ago. “Lets help you into your slippers Dearie - then you can change your gown for a dry one in the bathroom, ok?” The hands help guide her colorfully knee socked feet to floor and into a pair of fuzzy Hello Kitty slippers. The bright faces of Kitty looking up at her are all she can focus on as she shuffles them and her feet one at a time in the direction the hand on her back gently guides her, towards the bathroom doorway. “You must have sweated through your gown during your fever. Dry off and change into this one, and let us know if you need help.” A towel and a soft purple night gown are given to her. She reaches up with her free hand to close the door behind her and she stops, stunned, looking at her hand. The skin on this hand seems almost papery dry, thin, freckled and translucent, the blue of viens showing. Was that really HER hand? She turns away from the door – still holding and turning her hand over in front of her face – flexing her bony fingers and staring at the pronounced outlines of her tendons moving over the back of her hand and knuckles in amazement – she realizes she is now directly in front of the mirror. The shock of two long white braids, as bright as the snowbank she had just imagined laying in make her pause again. She slowly lowers her offending hand and now sees her own dark eyes looking back at her from a familiar strangers wrinkled and lined face. She blinks several times and tries to focus on the face in the mirror. It smiles at her, eyes crinkling. And a laugh, bubbling up from somewhere inside her, comes out instead through the strangers mouth.

She starts shivering again and hears a voice from the other side of the door, “Babe? You ok?” Another jolt of surprise hits her when she hears the voice whispering right in her ear, “Sandi, wake up, you’re having a nightmare…” through a confused haze it slowly dawns on her that it’s her husband and that she's dreaming. She struggles to wake up in their cold bedroom, deep in the middle of a dark winter night, and even under the huge comforter and electric blanket they share, she feels cold and wet. She angrily realizes the hot flashes and accompanying night sweats have stuck yet again… She gets up to peel off her soaked clothing and blindly rummage through her dresser in the dark for a dry shirt and bottoms. She shivers and stumbles, still groggy, on her way to the bathroom.

Half awake, she turns on the bathroom light, and squints, both from the sudden brightness and from a fear of what she may still see in the mirror. But through her half closed eyes and fuzzy vision without her glasses, she is relieved to see her dark hair. Her eyes crinkle as she smiles and shakes her head at her reflection and thinks to herself, “and this is just the pre-phase of menopause… is it too much to ask that my next hot flash dreams have me swimming in Hawaii or Jamaica instead of frolicking in the snow?”

I used to be an anomaly...

In contemporary dictionaries the definitions for Geek and Nerd have changed significantly and are now very often synonymous or interchangeably used. The terms were often used to define or label a person who is preoccupied with - or very knowledgeable about computing, science or other technical disciplines to the point of being considered peculiar or odd by others. The “classification”, Geek or Nerd was often a negative one.

With the explosion of technology in the 21st century, and societies growing dependence on it, the Geek/Nerds have begun to use these titles as a self-reference and a badge of honor. It is often now a positive description denoting a technically competent person, with less implication on social awkwardness or peculiarity (but be advised, the terms can be still considered offensive or condescending when used by “outsiders”).

So with that said, I proudly then state, I am a Girl Geek. I can figure my way out of most computer or application/software troubleshooting scenarios. The time I spent as a helpdesk tech crawling under desks to resolve the very complicated tasks of plugging back in computer power cords or loosened network cables should prove that. And some people have told me recently, I must be a genius - since I am currently teaching former WindowsXP users how to navigate around their new Vista computers, or how to manage their Outlook email file size... so they don’t get blocked from sending those very important jpeg files. But truth be told, I’m far from having reached my true Geekess potential; I admit it to you here, I’m not all the Geek I can be.

I had the basics of the Geek media/entertainment thing going from a youngish age, I watched all the star trek series from the “Original Series” (had such a crush on Spock!) to “Next Generation”, some of “Deep Space Nine” and I even tried to watch Voyager for a while, as the combination of Star Trek and Scott Backula from Quantum leap intrigued me (ok I thought he was kinda cute too!). And I actually understand the comic book references on the Big Bang Theory Television show, and I could listen in and understand a debate of who would win in a DC vs Marvel universe hero show down.

But even as a Girl Geek I was intrigued by the stop in the action that would happen when I walked into a Nerd-haven, the comic book store. I was smugly amused by the awkward silence that followed me around as I hunted for my new Wonder Woman, Lady Death, Elektra, Kabuki, Spawn (the Angela issues), Cat Woman or Vampirella comic. I imagined them whispering to each other from the back of the store – pausing over their Dungeons and Dragons game, “Dude… is that a Girl? Looking for Comic?”

Why were women or girls so rare here in Geekdom? Why couldn’t we be interested in this realm as well? To that point I also collected female action figures (my Girl Geek/kick-ass versions of Barbie) – they now all live in my Mothers attic – but I would always buy one to open and display (ok “play with” or put out on my desk) and one to keep pristine (called MINT & NIB) – but my desire for hero/girl-power realism would be crushed as the scale of boob size to body made them disproportionate and yes cartoonish. Why?!?!, I ask – why? Why couldn’t my Lara Croft or Wonder Woman action figures – just have a normal bra size – seriously, could they really fight bad guys with triple Ds getting in the way? They were imagined, drawn and molded that way, because they weren’t made for me, or for the other Girl Geeks, they as so much here in Geekdom, were made for the boys.

And speaking of T&A, did Halle Berry’s character, Patience Phillips in the Catwoman movie, really have to rip up the costume we saw as iconic? The Selina Kyle/Catwoman costume was just as sexy or more so when worn whole by the likes of Eartha Kitt, Julie Newmar, Lee Meriwether, even Michelle Pfeiffer.

I feel that my quest and interest in comics and female actions figures is a spinoff of my love of Sci-Fi/fantasy, currently grouped together and now called “Speculative fiction.” I got hooked in middle school when I picked up a dog-eared copy of Ray Bradbury’s Martian chronicles, and then Isaac Asimov’s, I Robot. And even though my ventures into sci-fi started with those masters, I wasn’t drawn to the hard core stuff in general – once they start to discuss physics or quantum mechanics, my brain substituted space opera music while I’d skim over those parts... My favorites became the “fantasy” ones or the ones with tongue in cheek humor, Douglas Adams type stuff, Piers Anthony. And as a Girl Geek, I’ve began to seek out female authors to read, I discovered that Frankenstein by Mary Shelly is considered one of the first sci-fi novels. Contemporary female sci-fi writers I have sought out are Andre Norton, Ursula Le Guinn, Anne McCaffrey (named Grand Masters of science fiction by the Science Fiction and Fantasy Writers of America) also Tanith Lee, James Tiptree Jr (yes a woman), C.J. Cherryh, Nalo Hopkinson, and Octavia Butler (an anomaly herself being not just a female sci-fi writer but one of a small number of African American female sci-fi writers, who tragically died as she was at a high point in her career a few years ago at the age of 58).

But as with some other aspects of my life, I find I’m again a wannabe. This time I’m a wannabe Nerd. I’m already established as Girl Geek (seen by Nerds as a fanboy – but a girl) but I need to take it and my “cred” up a notch. I want to be in the grown-up Nerd know. I want to read Wired, Scientific America, Popular Science, Discover, Gizmag and Macworld and understand everything they are saying or at least be interested in it...

And to do this, to take my Geekdom to the next level, I may have to let my grip on the fun side out of my grasp and go the grown up route – to the “Dark Side” if you will… As a professional woman approaching 50 (gasp!) I feel I cannot proudly wear my Girl Geek colors out loud in my non-corporate time – to my amazement it seems to cause embarrassment to the conservatives who are my best friends and family.

So hopefully my younger Girl Geek sisters and future Nerdesses are growing in numbers to represent those of us who are oppressed or feel that for the sake of our non-geek friends and families, we need to sulk quietly, like me with my wonder Woman, or Catwoman t-shirts hidden away under my cardigan. My younger or bolder sisters – can live out loud, and represent in goth girl gear, or show up at a comic con in super heroine or villainess costume... and they hopefully know they don’t have to be all T&A about it.

But sadly they will whip out the T&A – because even here in Geekdom… where we used to be anomalies... we all know it’s still a man’s world.