flip-flop *toe* pop-top

To my dog loving co-workers (and you other guys that I am just trying to gross out...), Here's your Monday morning laugh (or "ewww!")

Last night as I was pushing baby boy in his stroller through the park while also walking our dog, the dog and I were showing baby boy how to play "splash the puddle" - which she and I have been playing since she was a puppy. The objective is for the human to stomp in a puddle and for the dog to snap at and catch the splashing water... Well, it appears that as she is now an older puppy girl (she's 8yrs +), perhaps her aim is slightly off - and during one round of "splash" instead of snapping and catching the splashing water, she "accidentally" made contact with my flip-flop wearing foot... Needless to say (but I will, just for the shock value...) one of my toes is now completely minus a toe nail!!!

And as I hobbled home bleeding, pushing stroller and dragging dog (who knew something bad had happened but wasn't sure exactly what...), baby boy pointed down at the ground with a giggle and even through the throbbing haze of shock I was starting to feel, he made me proud when he demonstrated the newest combination of words in his growing vocabulary - "more puddle!" To which I had to painfully and apologetically reply, "Uh... sorry baby boy, mommy thinks that game is over!"

1962 - planning = 43

tick tick tick - well its here. my 43rd year... am i where i expected to be? honestly dont know if i ever thought to plan it out in advance. I guess my unspoken and even subconscious motto has always been - "let life take you where it will... "

what's that old saying, "its the journey - not the destination thats important..." or something like that. i try to feel proud/justified that i subscribe to that... BUT often i feel like i've been lazy and shouldnt have just let life "happen"... and that i should have been planning better.

related note: Probably one of the few things i have seriously thought long and hard about and "formally planned" was getting pregnant with Baby Boy... i am VERY happy with how that turned out... yes, a miscarriage first - and i often wonder was that because I was approaching 40 and that I HAD waited too long? AND THIS WAS THE RESULT OF BAD PLANNING? as there had been a plan involved - I had planned for many years NOT to be pregnant until I/we were "ready..." Or was it just not the right time for Baby Girl? makes me sad to think about that... BUT then I think of Baby Boy's smiling face and giggle/scream when he sees an airplane or red van... and tell myself, "it all worked out so far..."

and now - PLANS - what do i do when they dont need me here at MSHell anymore... they have all their new or thankfully rehired formerly laid-off TV elves over at the new NYC site. And I dont know if I could/would do the commute to NYC happily long term if they did have/make a spot for me... So my PLAN right now is to ride this out and take and try to enjoy some of my severance... my closets need cleaning, baby boy's clothes and toys need outgrown and unused weeding, my garage needs junk thrown out... So i hope i can take a month or two before i have to really think about where my next official paycheck will be coming from again - but when i stop and look at it - i guess i am planning - because I have been telling any and every user who listens that its time for a career change... and that, "my dignity and my behind are getting too large to allow me to continue to crawl around under desks..." So I am planning - at least to stop doing that - to stop fighting with the dustbunnies and cobwebs and start wearing skirts again and business attire - so theres at least a scrap of a plan - Human Resources or Technology Training - they sound like potential career paths i would enjoy.... so OK - I guess I do plan when I HAVE to...

And now I must plan to hit 44 (wow!) next year wearing a skirt to work that is not a size 14!

email from my seestor

My mother - much like me - (the nut doesn't fall far from the tree right?) is experiencing some slight hearing issues right now... And while I feel that I often "hear" something that was actually more interesting than what was really said and I then find it amusing when I realize that I have once again misheard and reinterpreted something - My mother, on the other hand, is experiencing some justifiable frustration with this "problem" especially when she talks to my sister over the phone... (see email below from sis)

"...Hola seestor!
I was reading your blog [ostameaners post] and it reminded me of a phone conversation I had with our mom a few days ago. She called me up to ask me what I was watching on TV.
I said "Wife swap".
She said "I slop?" and for some reason I got the giggles,
I said "no... wife swap".
She said "I sleep?" I was trying very hard not to laugh, but I couldn't help it.
I said "NO!...WIFE SWAP!"
She started to sound frustrated...and said "WHAT? I SLEEP?"
OK.. By now I can't stop laughing... (I was actually lying in bed and had to get up to catch my breath and do the dance of many pigs, because I thought I was going to pee on myself from laughing so hard.)
I could hear her mumbling on the phone "I don't know what your saying"...which was making me laugh even more.
Finally I was able to compose myself to spell it out to her and she finally said "OH...WIFE SWAP!".

MAN! Today she called me and asked me "what are you watching?" I said "Pimp my ride" She said "I'm not even going there..."

(Thought you could use a laugh.)
Shirl..."

i need to start wearing a helmet!

I banged my head AGAIN. this time it was as I was getting back into my jeep. i had parked next to a hardened snow drift. And I had to step on it as I was opening the car door - and the snow shifted under my feet and I whacked myself in the FOREHEAD with the edge of the door!!! OW!!!

When I got back to work I got a bag of ice from the commisary and put it to my forehead - and then of course, everyone who sees you as are trying to slink back to your office without anyone noticing says, "Whats wrong?" and "what happened" and "let me see it" and "oh - thats not so bad..."

I wanted to respond: "would you ...
1.) let me be a baby and whine (cus IT HURTS) and not tell me "oh - thats not so bad..."
2.) leave me alone...
3.) let me get back to my office and close the freakin door so I can hide!

so it usually takes a few days for my bruises to show up - I'm just hoping I dont wind up now with a big purple mark in the middle of my forehead. But at least I had let my bangs grow out so they will cover... sigh.

don't let the ostameaners get you!!!

my mom recently had a major surgery - and as my sister was trying to explain to me via long distance phone call about the health care people that were assisting with mom's recovery... she kept talking about "The Ostameaners" and how (in my interpretation of the conversation and related to the name she was calling them) they would barge into the hospital room and unfeelingly do stuff to my weakened and defenseless mom related to checking on her surgery... now, as an adult I was able to fight off the bad imagery of my poor mommy laying prone in a hospital bed being poked and prodded and verbally abused by some insensitive hospital staff evil-doers (...they must be evil if they are called "meaners" right?) but the child in me couldn't hold it in and after hearing her say "The Ostameaners did this..." or "The Ostameaners said that..." about ten times, I finally had to yell at my sister over the phone - "OK ... hold on, what the *F* is an Ostameaner?!?!" to which she replied (after she laughed her ass off at me), "oh... Colostomy Nurse."

I'm workin' on it! (but not while I'm @work - I swear!)

new posts coming - I swear!!!! I am trying to update my blog templates throughout the day today and add links that reflect my varied interests as a mom/geekess and Martha "watcher" (that last bit is not because I want to, but because I have to... ya know, employment stability and all...)